今天澄心團體第一堂上課，較早出門。走在人行道上，離公車站牌，約莫５０公尺，看到站牌有位男士跑向車道，我下意識的往前衝，深怕公車來了，撇下我開走了。結果，看到他原來是要去開他的車，違停在路邊的車。
我覺察到，一般如我準時出門時，都會一邊走路一邊不斷的轉頭看公車是否來了。就好像一位在投手丘上的投手，不斷的監看著疊上的跑者，深怕被盜壘了，既威脅加重，又顯得自己無能。我也是怕公車過了，我會有種沒盡全力的感覺，和另一種不幸運和痛恨自己不幸運的感覺，還有一份被遺棄的感覺。
有些模式是會隨著時空轉變而改變的，有些則會多停留些。大概每個人小時候都經歷過，被口哨催尿的經驗吧。聽到口哨，就自然尿尿了。長大後，應該不會有人聽到就尿出來了。
小時候，練過幾天棒球，守備位置是三壘，是內野防線的一部份。教練要求，只要聽到擊球聲，就要準備往前衝，在最快的時間攔下球，也要有用身體擋球的準備。我長大後，有好長一陣子，在團體中只要有聽到需要發言或貢獻的，都會率先反應。就好像聽到擊球時輕脆的”鏗＂聲，就埋頭猛衝一樣。
我們都可隨時檢查生活或生命中有些什麼樣的模式。也記得很重要的一件事——慈悲的對待這些模式。畢竟，這些模式保護著、支持著或陪伴著自己一路前進到現在。如有不合時宜的，感謝他然後自然的告別即可。越多的慈悲和關愛，就越少的黏著。祝福大家
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