不平安的議題澄心

Home 9 澄心實驗 9 不平安的議題澄心

這是一個實驗。

試著找出一周內心中不平安之處,只要隱約有不平安的感覺,就可以用作議題來澄心;如有兩個以上,稍加覺察那一個較需首先關注的,以此為議題。

日期:2017/7/9  地點:星巴克咖啡

前兩天,有位數次來電說要訂購並請我幫他作一些服務的客戶,LINE我說:下周一要出國,等回國時再匯訂購的款項。我覺得有點納悶,為何要多此一舉,要訂就付錢,不確定的話就考慮清楚再說。為何一再的聯絡,重覆一些沒意義的問題呢?我在LINE中回說,沒關係,等有確定並付款後再聯絡我即可。之後,他馬上打電話給我說,他是有確定的,我說沒關係,不要因我有幫忙作些服務就有心理負擔,要不要作都沒關係,不會影響到我的。接著就無限迴圈,他一直說有確定,並解釋原因,我說沒關係,有確定付款後告訴我就行,不訂也沒關係。其實,我真心不在意幫他作的服務及他要不要訂購,但心裡就是有些微的不舒服。就以這為議題吧。

我把這種不舒服的感覺重新浮現在心中,發現胸口右側出現一個木頭質地光滑胡桃木顏色的版子,又像一面牆,上面寫著VIP三個字。我和這空間打個招呼,陪伴一下,隱約發現是一間VIP室,但功能是保護我的內心免受傷害,只要有不認同我的,是的"不認同"是關鍵字,只要偵測到這三個字,我就會把相關人事物請進這VIP,好好伺候一頓。我感受這明白的感覺,理解這空間的用意,並且再陪這空間一下,讓他知道我感受到他的感受,這時似乎浮現一個童年模糊的樣子,我再詢問這空間要的是什麼。他回覆:我要的是出頭,不要被忽略。我繼續陪伴,一會兒,回覆:我要的是被愛,被父母親重視並疼愛。

因時間的限制,我先徵詢後離開並承諾日後再來造訪。感謝身心及這澄心歷程。

事後,我設想,如這位客戶是澄心者,我是同行者,似乎能提供較多元的視角,對他的問題及他本人的感覺也變得有些不同,如他再和我聯絡,或許會有不同品質的回應吧。

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