昨晚吃的少,睡前就決定今早要吃個豐盛的早餐。一早起來和太太有默契的前往豐盛早午餐。邊吃邊聊,很是滿足。
當聊到前幾天我接到一通電話,有位久未連絡的舊識打來為了某事解釋致意。我在對太太描述的過程,越講越氣,覺得一股火從肚子升起,頂到鼻腔後方。恩,可以說從第三脈輪到第六脈輪都被生氣佔據。突然間,我意識到我"很"生氣。當我感受到"很"這個字後,怒火知道我知道它的感受後,緩緩止息了。
回到家我在想,之前在結合練習時,我常跟學員講,情緒需要完整,才不會有未竟事宜。在澄心歷程中的空間,也真能提供情緒展現的機會,對待陪伴情緒的態度,不只在閉眼裡,也可帶到日常生活中。
我把那知道很生氣的當下,重新帶到我的身體中,去陪伴它。前兩天作澄心時,一度分心想說怎麼記錄,這讓我感到擔心又有些慚愧。因這和我尊重感覺的原則有所違背。依照澄心精神,我還是陪伴了那某種擔心,某種慚愧,和某種想求表現的情緒。今天雖然也有擔心,就是邊陪伴著這擔心,知道自己生氣的感覺出現在我的喉頭,卡卡的感覺,我和它打個招呼,它瞬間消失了。一會兒,我的胃部上方呈現一團圓形黑暗的某種東西,我和它打聲招呼,這團圓形向左延伸成一個長尾巴的樣子,我擔心又是呈現兒少不被關愛的情景,我和這擔心打聲招呼,多陪這擔心一會兒,不一會兒。出現”作好事情”這幾個字,我在陪伴這幾個字後,出現”急”,我又陪著它,靜靜的,抱著不一定要機轉的心態。花了一會兒功夫,在細微處升起一股傷心,緩緩的昇起,緩緩的,我眼眶濕了。是的,我只是受傷了,我陪伴這感覺一下子…….後來出現一個詭黠不願負責的調皮小孩,我和他約定有機會在澄心歷程中陪伴他。
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